I hit the 12 weeks pregnant mark on Friday. Another week before the great second trimester begins and I can hopefully breathe a bit easier, along with throw up a bit less. I know my announcement came as quite a surprise to most people, so I thought the best way to kick this thing off is with a recap!
I found out I was pregnant on April 24th, hilariously, the same day as the great April Mistakes party. I’d suspected something was up the night of the Dodos show at Particle HQ. Late period, nausea. I waited a few days. Sore, growing breasts. Shit. The bff, Jessica, urged me to get a preggo test and find out for sure, but I couldn’t deal with the realism of the situation, and bring myself to go to the Walgreens to fetch a $20 test. So naturally, I ordered them off the internet at a steal. Thank you, Amazon Prime!
Saturday morning, my doorbell rang. There at my door was the fedex guy, with a big yellow manila envelope containing 50 pregnancy HcG strips. 5 minutes later, it contained 49, which is still does. On that note, does anyone want any pregnancy tests?!
After the positive test, I withdrew from everything to sort the situation out. For anyone that knows me well, it’s been very obvious I’ve wanted a baby for the past few years. One of the reasons my ex and I didn’t work out was because after 3 years together, he wasn’t ready to take the steps I was, and I didn’t want to wait around anymore. I quickly decided this baby was going to happen for me. At 30 years old, a solid, secure career in hand, my own apartment, a nice salary, I felt this was a good, happy accident.
From weeks 5 until 9, I hid in my apartment most of the time. I felt too nauseated to do anything else. I didn’t want to talk to friends, I didn’t feel like working, I couldn’t concentrate, it hurt to walk because of uh, bouncing. I lived off of saltines, canned soup and lemonade. Shockingly, I’ve gained 6lbs in my first trimester. I swear the most of it must be in my giant, painful boobs. I only let a few people in on the big secret, mostly because I incredibly afraid of being judged but also because I didn’t want to jinx anything. On June 4th, my birthday, I felt pretty okay with being public, and who could judge me?! It’s my birthday!
I have no idea what I’m having yet, and won’t for another little while, but I am definitely finding out. I’ve had two prenatal appointments so far, one as Kaiser, and one at the birthing center I’ll be using. The Kaiser experience was too medical and cold for me, and the fact that I wouldn’t know who’d be catching my baby when the day came bothered me. This is my first baby, and I have no family in this country. I want the wise woman experience. I want to have a relationship with the people that will be in the delivery room with me.
Related to that, Jessica has agreed to be my birthing partner, which really is pretty amazing. The support she’s given me through our friendship has been amazing, and I can’t wait to have her at my side, making inappropriate jokes, throughout the whole thing.
Going back a bit to that happy accident statement, I know a lot of folks are asking who is the babydaddy?! Well, it’s no one anyone knows. We’d known each other a short while before this accident happened. We really had nothing at all in common, and I couldn’t vibe with him at all, despite trying for about 2 months. It was best for my mental sanity and our future relationship for the baby’s sake that we not see each other anymore. He’s a really good guy, and wants to be there for the baby and that is basically the extent of that topic!
It’s a bit on the scary side to be approaching this on my own, but I’m well equipped, and I have the best network of friends around. I’ve learned to approach everything with logic rather than emotion, and it is been helpful at maneuvering through this experience. I’m SO excited for what’s to come! And I’m glad I finally have my blog set up so I can share it with y’all!
Sorry for any typos or horrible grammar mistakes, I have pregnancy brain.. which will be its own blog entry at some point..
