a micro canadian

The Big Ultrasound

The first time I saw my baby was back in May when it was a tiny little blob around 7 weeks. I’ve read some women don’t even have access to the dating/viability scan due to insurance reasons, covering only 1 ultrasound, or only those deemed medically necessary, like the anatomy scan. My anatomy scan was this past Wednesday. I hadn’t seen my baby in roughly 12 weeks. Wednesday was a nervous day. Also angry day, but that was unrelated..

I’d read one should drink a glass of orange juice prior to the ultrasound to get the baby moving in there. Better chance of getting the money shot, because yes, while we all care about the scan showing our babies are healthy, it’s the sex! The sex of the baby is what’s on our minds. That said, I was pretty nervous laying on the table, having no clue if everything was normal in there. I knew baby had a heartbeat, and that was it. I had visions of the baby having two heads or a tail. I think I could have lived with a baby with a tail. Or a horses body. CENTAUR BABY. The scan showed none of that (sadly no centaur?). A perfectly formed little baby in there. 4 chambers in the heart, healthy flowing veins, a brain! All of its little limbs were there and moving around. Its little hands were in tiny fists, one of the arms just hanging out over its head. It even had urine in its bladder. That might be kind of gross, but I had an epic awwwww moment over it. It has a tiny working bladder! The ultrasound tech did all the measurements, yet the only one I really remember, apart from measuring on spec, is that its femur is about an inch long! AN INCH!! SO TINY!!

And yes, baby still remains an it. A human it. Not a kitten or a bear, or Steely Dan. The baby kept its legs crossed most of the time. So modest! The tech had me get up and walk around to try and get the baby to change positions. I drank more OJ, jiggled a bit. After laying back down, we found the baby still in its comfy, curled up position. We managed to get its legs uncrossed, but the position didn’t allow for its legs to open very wide. The tech thought it might be a girl, but said don’t go out and buy anything pink yet. Then she told me I’d have to just stick to greens and yellows. That bitch! haha. How about a rescheduling?! While I was disappointed that baby didn’t cooperate, I was happy to know it was healthy in there, and but I also knew there’d be no other ultrasounds for me on the insurance’s dime. Womp!

I got about 4 photos from the ultrasound. I took photos of the photos as I have no scanner, and now you get to see them!

This is my favorite. I was dreading the forward facing photo, because they are SO creepy. But we caught the baby yawning.. which is both adorable and also creepy. It’s totally casting spells.

Smushed profile of its face. I has a comfy placenta.

Robot eye.

BABY FOOT!!!

The Other Half of Saturday

If you’re a regular reader (haha), then you probably read my blog post from the other day. It was mostly about this past Saturday. What I left out about this past Saturday was the embarrassment I felt that day. I feel it needs to be documented in all its stupidity. I apologize in advance if anyone is sensitive to things of a sexual nature.

Saturday morning I woke up and rushed into the shower to get ready for my first pregnancy related class. I was excited and didn’t want to be late, but I also didn’t want to wake up, so naturally I was a tiny bit short on time. I think it took all of 30 minutes to shower, apply makeup and get to the birthing center. The class was four hours long. Flash to the end of those four hours. I thought I’d use the restroom prior to leaving the center. I looked down for no reason at all. There, at the bottom of my new maternity jeans, was something hanging out. What the what?! I reached down and pull out a pair of my underwear from the day before. I had apparently not noticed they were in my pants still during my race to leave the apartment. I have no idea how long they were there nor if anyone noticed, and I really tried not to think about it. I just thought, I’m already a single mom mess!

My day continued with an epic walk and a stop at Dolores Park for my lady’s birthday. The whole time I kept thinking, “Okay, you have to get home before 5pm. You have to move and hide your vibrator before the painfully thorough cleaners get there”. Oh yeah, we’re going there. Look, I’m in my second trimester and I’m a single lady. Things (read: hormones) get real. Real and intense. Anyway. I got home about 7 minutes after the cleaning people got there. The lady was in the area. My secret special area! So close to it! I sat down with a jacket on my lap, maybe 2 feet from her and reached for it. Naturally it turned on. I tried to turn it off, but once again, as things go, I turned the switch in the wrong direction making it louder, stronger, faster before finally getting it turned off. She probably didn’t even notice, but I’m sure I was a lovely shade of red.

By the end of the day, I just had to look at myself and say really? This is your life? Oh dear. It was definitely one for the books.. or blogs?

Classes and Kicking

I had my first in what I’m sure will be a long series of classes over the course of this pregnancy. This morning was a Healthy Pregnancy class. I should preface all of this by saying I’m currently sitting in bed with a piece of banana cream pie at my side. I’m a quick learner. What I did, in fact, learn is that pairing a protein with sugar will help curb its blood sugar journey. So while my blood sugar may elevate, it won’t elevate quite so high, which is a risk for causing gestational diabetes. I got a bit scared as I love me some sugah, and the teacher said they won’t let you give birth at the center if you have gestational diabetes, so this is something I must avoid at all costs. All costs minus that of banana cream pie. The class was pretty valuable for the most part. Afterwards, I ended up at Rainbow buying flaxseeds, sunflower seeds and flax chips. After walking about 3.5 miles around the Mission and back home.

Beyond the class, it was my first time having the opportunity to meet pregnant ladies in my range, though I was the furthest away. I keep seeing pregnant women, or new moms with tiny babies and I want to talk to them! It feels so awkward though. I can’t bring myself to do more than just smile at them. Do ladies normally do that? I think about how I’d feel, and I’d love it! Maybe. Depending on the day. I need to find some local groups to join. The ones I’ve found so far are full of women from the east bay, etc.

Another notable thing of today was actually feeling the baby kick for the first time. I’ve felt the fluttery feelings a few times, but tonight was actually kicking. I was laying in the bath, the bath full of lavender sea salt I’d just bought, and baby just started up. Kick, kick, kick. It was weird! I have no idea what I expected, but all I can visualize is like, flicking a jello mold. That’s what it feels like but backwards? Does that make sense?! Haha. I hope this means I’ll be able to feel baby more often. I say this now, but I’m sure a month from now I’ll be complaining about not being able to sleep due to it.

All in all, it’s been quite an excellent day in baby land.

Almost Halfway There!

There are days when I wonder just how I’ll make it through the rest of this pregnancy. A couple days ago things started getting tight. Really tight. In my pants. I’ve been sporting the bella band for the past little while, and let me tell you, it is miraculous, but the past couple days it’s felt too tight to wear. I think it might be time that I put away my cute stretchy unbuttoned hipster pants and head over to the big girl maternity section of pants. I’m scared! Hold me! They all look (and by they all, I’m really only talking about Old Navy) so gigantic or are $100+. Where do the hip cheap mommas shop? I’m still a single gal! I want to maintain some style while looking hilariously rotund. And to talk on that for a second, I’ve gained 8lbs since I started this whole ordeal, bringing my total up to 113lbs. The best part of that is that it’s only been in my belly and boobs. I feel like some kind of homemade kids doll, rectangular box body with pipecleaner arms! I really wish SF were warmer in the summer so I could actually wear cute dresses everyday. The thought of not having a waistband fills me with joy. This is what my life has come to!

In all seriousness, time is blowing by. I’ll be 18 weeks on Friday. Already. I’m just about halfway through. What the what?! I feel so unprepared. I mean, I don’t even own elastic waist pants! I’ve got my first pregnancy related class on Saturday for 4 hours. That’s a start. I feel like I should be buying things in preparation for the baby. It’s so hard to hold off and wait until the baby shower. It’s not till the end of September! Only 3 months to finalize everything?! Ahhh!! Stress and anxiety! I don’t know how these things work, but if anyone is curious, here’s my baby registry. People keep asking, so I finally got it mostly finished. It still needs clothes and blankets, but I’m waiting on those.

And finally… NEW PHOTOS OF MY BELLLYYYY!! Look at how big this thing is getting!

Preggo Dreams

I woke up at  8:30am this morning from a bad dream I’d had. Pregnancy makes dreams definitely more vivid, which I’ve been experiencing since the start, though mostly sex related. Lesbian sex related, usually. I had a sex dream with Sue Silverster. Yeah. Eeeshh. Anyway, last night I dreamt I had my baby, and was pregnant again at the stage at I’m at right now. My baby had been kidnapped by crackheads who lived upstairs from me. The crackhead dude ran off, and the lady was taken away, so my baby was just left there. And no one would let me have it. I say it, because I have no idea whether it was a boy or girl. The first time I saw the baby, it was adorable, and I was pretty happy about that. As soon as I held it, the police took it away, and wouldn’t let me have it back. The baby kept shrinking away, until I got to hold it again and it would grow. Then no one would help me try and get my baby back. No one at all would talk to me or help. I’d see them helping everyone else, but not me. Baby kept shrinking. Ugh. I fell back asleep twice and kept having continuations of this disappearing baby. I did breastfeed in it, twice, in public without a cover and I didn’t care at all. That made baby grow.

I haven’t really had many baby related dreams. The last one, apart from last night, that I remember was a while ago. From the sounds of things, this was one of those common dreams pregnant women have, at least as far as the elements within it. I was carrying a litter of babies rather than just one, and I was getting tired of carrying them all. I wanted them immediately, so I pulled one of them out. At first it looked weird, like a 12 week old fetus, but quickly grew and looked like a toddler. I was in a car and holding the toddler. The car window was cracked. Out jumped the baby, to chase a dog. It was running like a dog itself, on all fours. I couldn’t catch up and was yelling at people to catch that baby. Also it was in Santa Cruz, where I’ve never been to.

Last night’s dreams have left me feeling a bit off today. I know parts of it were brought out by watching way too much Law and Order: SVU, along with my fears of no one being around the help me once the baby comes. One of my main sources of support has been MIA and unresponsive to texts, so that’s echoing in my subconscious, I’m sure.

I think I’ve reached the scarycat part of this pregnancy.